I think I need a counsellor, and I think I need medicine. I can’t really keep pretending I’m fine.
In the last year:
I left my husband and entered a divorce
I had two miscarriages
I was raped and blamed for said rape
My sister is dying
My mom has leukaemia
My brother had mental breakdowns
I’m now going to be in charge of a teenage boy
I’ve suffered the worst heartache of my life
I have nightmares every time I dream of my ex. I am so desperate and in so much despair. I can’t think straight. I have no motivation or interest in my job and constantly look for a way out. I do not think I’m beautiful, or worthy of love. I do not trust people. I do not believe I can achieve anything.
I’m everyone rock and my foundation is crumbling. And I keep smiling through all the pain. I keep saying I’m fine, I’ll get better, things will look up, but I’m not so sure they will if I can’t find it within me to change. There’s so much I hate about myself.
I don’t know where to start for help though. I don’t have insurance for this.
Some people have sex and that’s okay
Some people don’t have sex and that’s also okay
but what’s NOT okay is putting fucking ketchup in your god damn mac and cheese